The Price of a Flame
by Ai Chiyo
Summary: She was just a child and he was beyond his limits of drinking. It was all an accident, but everyone must pay for the price of a flame, especially him and it'll take everything he has to win her over again. RusBel. Warnings provided inside. M for a reason if you don't think you can handle it then don't read it. (Ukraine is a minor character with importance.) AU.
1. Coloring Her World

_The Price of a Flame_

_Coloring Her World_

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_Summary; She was just a child and he was beyond his limits of drinking. It was all an accident, but everyone must pay for the price of a flame, especially him and it'll take everything he has to win her over again._

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**Warnings; Child abuse and extreme neglect, alcoholism, and severe angst. This is M for a reason so proceed with caution.**

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**A/N: So this was inspired by a small blurb of a story I found on the internet and I figured I'd apply it to Hetalia because I'm really loving it right now. And I know I don't need another story to work on, but I'm crazy about this idea. I love every moment of it. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it of course because I've never really written anything like this before. So please review for me!**

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It wasn't a very large flame, at least, not at first. It was just a slow burning flame of a fire place, nothing too dangerous. The embers lay dormant beneath the slow burning wood. Though this wouldn't be the case for very long.

It started with the flick of her many small skirts and a small whoosh, but that's all it took for the flare to take hold and spread. It caught on her skirts, but she easily put that out with a few pats from a towel. She discarded it carelessly behind her not thinking. After all she was only a three year old girl, she didn't have a care in the world for messes or fires or anything that didn't revolve around her favorite doll or tea time.

It was only when the booming voice of Ivan, the man of the house considering his father had bailed on them all when he was a young boy, that she thought of her carelessness and apologized to the older and intimidating man. He was drunk as usual and smelled strongly of vodka and sunflowers, which was an odd combination in the eyes of the small girl, but he was mostly nice to her, at least, if ignoring her was nice, and if you knew the man well enough, honestly it was the nicest thing he could do. Needless to say it wasn't the best option to leave a three year old in the care of a drunkard, but it was the only option they really had with an absent mother, non-existent father, and two older siblings of whom weren't exactly related, but what the hell right?

He demanded she go and pluck the burning towel from the fire place which wasn't the brightest idea and even she knew that. She protested and stamped her foot blabbering about how it wasn't safe to do something like that especially with a fire, but he demanded and she never liked it when he got angry.

She slowly shuffled over to the fire and knelt carefully trying to keep the soot from her skirts. Her small eyes reflected the flames and she steadied herself with one hand. One slowly reached out, cautiously, worrying over the flames and their destructive qualities.

The booming voice pushed her to hurry with her actions just as the flames flared flicking at her face. She hissed, but he continued to yell at her, pushing her further into the flames, as her tears sizzled into the blaze. It was _so _hot. She began to sweat as her small hand burned as she attempted to reach for the charred and smoky tattered towel.

She jerked away from the fire whimpering which was obviously a bad move as she was knocked back into the fire by a large hand. He demanded she get it and stop being such a little bitch. Her tears ran hotter down her face as she winced trying to grab hold of the denigrating rag.

"I _can't!_ I _can't!_ It's too hot." He pressed his hand onto her back pressing her into the fire.

"You _can! Don't be a bitch!_" He bellowed.

The tears rolling down her face weren't helping her any with her task, but she couldn't help it. She was _so _scared. He was never this bad. He never hurt her before. She couldn't believe this was happening the way it was.

The flames were licking at her hands and her face. Burning a path against her skin. The clothing catching fire as well. She was so _hot_. Not even the chilling hand against the small of her back and the other on her bottom pushing her closer to the fire could cool her off even slightly. She tried to grasp at it so many times, but none of it was working. She whimpered in frustration and yelped when a door slammed open and shouting reached her ears.

"God damn it Ivan what the hell are you doing to Natalya?" Katyusha yelled slapping his hands and pulling him off of the small girl.

He stumbled backwards into the wall crashing through it with all of his weight, but she was far from concerned about him or the wall upon seeing the state of her younger half-sister.

"Oh god… Natalya? Are you okay? Baby girl?" She said panicking as she helped her from the fire gasping at the burns. She pulled her phone out and dialed the emergency number.

She glared over at Ivan's form. She wasn't sorry for making him crash through the wall. Just like he wasn't sorry for hurting her sister. She didn't understand why he felt the need to drink all day to the point of idiocy. He wasn't a stupid man, not in the slightest, but he had a problem, a big one, and it was something he needed to fix if he wanted to continue living here.

She sighed and stoked the girl's hair suddenly completely content with her decision to force the girl to put her hair up in the complicated up-do earlier that morning. She hadn't wanted to, but Katyusha insisted and she was so happy that she had. If she hadn't her hair would have been gone as well. She was happy to have saved even the slightest thing for the little girl. She knew this would color her world, but hopefully she'd be okay.

The ambulance was on the way and that was all she could do for her. She prayed the girl wouldn't die from her injuries. She wouldn't be able to handle such a thing, as it is she would have to lie to the authorities about what had happened because she couldn't have Ivan hauled off to jail. She couldn't do that to him, even if he was capable of hurting her, he was drunk. She couldn't hold it against him. She drew in a breath praying everything would be okay.

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**A/N: So that's the first chapter. I hope you guys liked it! It'd really help me if you reviewed telling me what you thought of it. This is an extremely early birthday present for one of my best friends. I told her my idea and she urged me to write it. I may be literally months early, but I'm hoping that makes this easier to finish by her actual birthday. I have fifty-seven days so cross your fingers that I don't miff this up! It's a goal!**


	2. Scorching Blue Blazes

_The Price of a Flame_

_Scorching Blue Blazes_

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_Warnings; A bit of depression, body image issues, and low self-esteem._

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**A/N: You'll be surprised to know that I actually wrote this in the same night as the first chapter. Writing this is really intoxicating for me. I might just meet my goal.**

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She stared at her reflection in the mirror wincing at her face. The scarring just looked painful. She looked like the very definition of pain. No wonder no one could stand to look at her for very long. Her skin was discolored and mottled. Scarred by the flames of fire from a very young age, and for what? A towel that turned to ashes anyway?

She turned away from her reflection disgusted with it herself. She could have been beautiful if it weren't for _him._ The one who _literally_ pushed her into the fire as if the towel were more important than she actually was. It couldn't have cost more than four or five dollars. Was she not worth more than that?

She flopped down on her bed her baggy pants crinkling around her small legs. Kat told her she had changed so much since then. Nothing was the same after she woke up bandaged and afraid of the man who sat by her bedside for weeks while she was comatose. She screamed the moment her eyes opened and she saw the bear of a man sitting right beside her. Ever since that moment she rarely ever spoke to him or even looked in his direction.

Everything he'd ever given her was disposed of by Kat. She wanted nothing to do with the man and intended to never have anything to do with him ever again. She would only let him hurt her once. The cut was so deep, the scars so visible, she couldn't let him in again. Even if had been sober ever since that night. She could never look at him the same way. The sound of his voice made her shake with fear. It got to the point where he'd write to her, but would never get a response. She just wanted him to disappear or better yet herself to disappear.

She knew she was only a burden to her older sister and a thorn in the side of the man who hurt her so deeply, shook her to her core, but even then she could only wish to disappear for the sake of everyone. She hated being so burdensome to her beautiful older sister. She should have been married by now with beautiful babies of her own. Not taking care of her permanently scarred sister. She blew out a harsh sigh and tugged down her baggy shirt that rode up the more she wallered in her bed and her misery.

She flipped over and pushed her hair away from her face glaring up at the ceiling. Her hair was long and healthy, a beautiful platinum blonde, something her sister absolutely loved about her, which was probably why she kept it. She loved the way her sister brushed it and styled it. It was the only thing that made her feel remotely beautiful. She only trimmed it whenever needed. She couldn't ever see herself parting with her hair, especially not with the way her sister talked about that day and how happy she was that she'd put it up even with all of her fussing because it was something that she could give Natalya to compensate for the scarring.

Her room was completely silent, but she could hear him moving throughout the house, and it bothered her. She couldn't understand why her sister allowed him to stay in the same house is them after what happened. It was the only thing that bothered her about her sister. How easily she forgave _him_ after what he did to her. She couldn't even say his name let alone speak about him or of him to anyone. She preferred to ignore his existence in her home.

She sighed hearing his footsteps grow closer. He'd wrote to her again. She rubbed at her temples. When will he learn? She quickly decided she'd throw it away. She'd long stopped reading the letters. In fact she just recycled them now. Not even caring about their content at all. After all she didn't care for the man writing them so why would the letters even matter to her?

The envelope was a pale blue, just as a baby bird would be colored, but there was nothing sweet to her about the blocked handwriting or his sad and sickening content. All it made her want to do was punch him in the face or run away or both. She sighed again looking at the letter from her bed. It lie there limply on the ground looking a bit full and making her sick just as all the others' had. She wished he would just give up on her and leave her alone. It was all she ever wanted from him.

She briefly considered writing him back sincerely begging for him to leave her alone, but that would counter act everything she'd worked for. She'd ignored him for so long, taken away all of his hope, she couldn't stand to take any steps back from what she had already accomplished. She refused to give him the false hope that she had forgiven him.

She could never do that and she couldn't see how anyone else could either, let alone her sister, but she knew she had to get over that to have a better relationship with her older sibling. She had stopped bringing it up in their conversations which was a big step in the right direction. She could feel it every time she spoke to her sister. She knew that Katyusha was grateful for her recent decline in questioning of forgiveness of a certain man. She was working on not recoiling or ignoring every bit of information that came out of her sisters mouth about the said man. She didn't have to care, but she shouldn't be so frigid about it all.

She pulled herself up from her bed with another sigh and padded over to the letter, her pants swishing with the movement and dragging against the ground, slipping in and out from under her feet with every small step towards the envelope. She bent over her hair flipping with the movement and picked up the letter before opening the door quietly and tossing the heavy letter into the blue recycle bin.

She turned abruptly on her heel and padded back into her room slamming the door shut behind her before flopping onto her bed deciding upon a nap to cure her boredom. She hadn't slept well that night, haunted by dreams of the accident, but here in the daylight she was sure to sleep better.

After all blue is always the hottest part of the fire and she was still stuck in the same flame as she had been since that night. He could only hope, dream, and pray that one day she slipped out of the scorching blue blaze into a more attainable part of the fire. One where he might possibly reach her and convey the way he felt, but until then his letters would be blue in color just as they always had been since that night.


	3. Just A Little Longer

_The Price of a Flame_

_Just A Little Longer_

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Katyusha sighed as she looked down at the blue bin. Every day or so, sometimes even twice a day, a letter showed up in the bin. It was few dozen shades lighter than the actual bin making it very noticeable, at least to her.

She bent down and retrieved it from the other paper products. She walked down the hall to her office, her bare feet making soft patting sounds against the wooden boards. She shut the door gently behind her before opening the closet and plopping the letter in a bin. At this point there were around five of these bins, just for this year of course, the rest were filed neatly away in the cabinet. She looked at the closet for a moment another sigh escaping her.

It was full of various things. Clothing of various sizes and types, stuffed animals, books, and many letters. All of them from Ivan for Natalya. A small frown formed on her face. The poor man wanted nothing but forgiveness from the girl, but she wouldn't put out. Of course, she could see it from her sister's view as well, he'd hurt her so deeply how was she to have anything to do with him?

Katyusha sighed again and shut the door with a little more force than necessary. She flinched and little and bounded out of the office only to slam directly into Ivan. She hissed a little as he caught her just before she tumbled over. He frowned slightly.

"Sorry, Kat." She nodded and fixed her pixie cut with three fingers easily.

"That's fine, Ivan. We're having spaghetti for dinner." He nodded.

"I'll take it in my room." He murmured a look of pain on his features. She patted his shoulder gently as she passed. She couldn't make this better, that was for him to figure out, somehow, hopefully.

She let out a wistful sigh as she fluttered around the kitchen making the food as she always had. She hated for the other to be locked up in his own home, but she couldn't very well have Natalya feeling alienated, better he than she. She didn't want her sister feeling like she was siding with Ivan so much. It already hurt the young woman that he still lived here, so she made some exceptions.

She quickly made Ivan a plate and walked it up stairs to his room. She rapped gently on the door before pulling it open. She smiled at him writing another letter. She had to give him credit, he really was consistent and headstrong.

"Ivan, you can stop for some spaghetti." She said sternly knowing he _really_ didn't want to stop writing to eat the spaghetti.

He glanced up at her and sighed putting the papers away. She set the plate down in front of him along with silverware. She kissed the top of his head. He protested a little but she rolled her eyes and waved him off.

"You really should give it a break, Ivan." She advised softly after taking a step back. He sighed and gave her _that_ look.

"I can't, Kat. If I stop what will she think?" He said his voice hitching up an octave.

"She might be relieved." She responded softly hating the pain in his face as he registered her words.

"Oh…" He murmured.

"I'm not saying stop, Ivan. I'm just saying take a break, get a good job, one that will make you happy, not just pay the bills. Don't you have something you've always wanted to be?" She asked him softly. He nodded.

"Yes, I've always wanted to work for a magazine or new station." He said softly looking away from her and staring down at his plate. She smiled.

"Then go for it, Ivan!" He looked at her like she just told him the sky was purple and people could propel air out of their ass.

"Don't you give me that look! You're extremely smart, Ivan. You've got great work ethics and drive. You're a wonderful photographer and you're good at asking questions. I think you can do whatever you put your mind to. So if that's what you want then go for it." She finished just as she was walking out of the room and back down stairs to Natalya's room.

She rapped on the door softly waiting for an answer before barging in. She frowned not receiving a response. She gently opened the door and peered in smiling as she saw Natalya sleeping soundly on her bed. She padded in quietly and gently shook her.

"Natalya, wake up~ It's dinner time, baby girl." She said just loud enough as the other's eyes fluttered open. She blinked and sat up.

"Dinner?" She murmured sleepily rubbing her left eye with one hand.

"Yes, spaghetti and garlic bread." Kat held her hand out to the other girl ignoring the urge to brush her wild hair down.

"Sounds good…" The other said with a soft yawn following her sister into the dining room for their usual mealtime together.

She plunked down in her chair as Katyusha prepared the plates before bringing them over along with bottles of water. Natalya smiled at her weakly still groggy from her nap. Her sister sat down softly and twirled some of the spaghetti onto her fork slowly.

"So, Nat, how was your day?" She asked carefully, not wanting to point out the letter she'd found, but hoping the girl would mention something about it.

"It was good enough, Kat~ I mostly slept. I haven't been sleeping very well." She murmured.

"You haven't? When's the last time you got a good night of sleep?" She asked her voice clear with concern for her sister. Nat took a bite of bread and sighed.

"About a month or so ago?" She answered unsure of the actual amount of time that had passed without a proper night's sleep. Kat frowned as she chewed a bite of spaghetti.

"That's not good, Natalya! Why didn't you say something?" The younger woman looked up and shrugged.

"I didn't want to bother you about something so silly and trivial. You're always so busy I figured I'd be okay eventually. I don't want to make this any harder on you." She said sincerely as she twirled the spaghetti thoughtfully.

"That's ridiculous, Nat~ Your health is far more important than that. I don't care what you think. You're not a burden. I love you, Natalya and if you're hurting or not sleeping well, I need to know so we can fix it. You understand me?" She scolded her sister over the spaghetti they were sharing. It'd been a while since she treated her sister that way.

Natalya glared at her and snorted pushing the plate away. She snagged her water bottle and shot out of the chair, not so much as blinking when the heavy wood thunked onto the wooden floor causing the room to shake slightly. She shook her head at her sister.

"_This_," She started motioning between them and then around them, "_This_ is ridiculous, Katyusha. I find it hard to believe that you can't see what I do." She snarled before bounding out of the room and slamming her door causing the house to shudder in her quake of anger.

Katyusha on the other hand was just sitting there absolutely stunned. Her mouth was a gape and her spaghetti was rapidly cooling under the tunnel of the fan. Even the shaking of the house couldn't snap her out of her disbelief.

Was she not satisfied with the arrangement they had? Of course, it wasn't perfect or anything or the like, but it was bearable wasn't it? She separated them the best she could. She cooked and cleaned without a complaint and was as nice as she could be to them. She just _cared_ though it seemed lately that it was becoming a crime in this house full of fiery flames and unresolved problems. She sighed and dropped her head into her hands.

Sometimes she wasn't sure if it was worth the pain of being in this fiery family. It was the price she had to pay. She knew she wouldn't feel right about walking out of the fire if she didn't smother it to a more manageable intensity. She was just hoping she was close to doing just that because she wasn't sure just how long she'd last between these two anymore, she was flickering out fast, becoming tired of this. She was just hoping she could hold on for a little longer.

"_Just a little longer…"_


End file.
